Barbara Hay’s life focused on raising young horses and training young riders.
She died at her Rainbow Ridge Farm in East Amwell, N.J., on Dec. 27, just three days short of her 72d birthday.
Barbara Hay on the farm with her horses. (Photo © 2023 by Nancy Jaffer)
A national examiner for the U.S. Pony Club who was the chief horse management judge at many Pony Club rallies, Barbara never lost sight of what was important to her.
Although she was dealing with Lewy Body dementia and Parkinson’s disease, even in her waning days, Barbara “thought she was teaching Pony Club or doing a rating,” and would go out to the barn with her clipboard, said her daughter, professional horsewoman Bridget Hay.
“Horses were everything for her and Pony Club was such a part of her life,” Bridget explained.
Dressage professional Kim Herslow, who also has a farm in Hunterdon County, said, “Barbara was such a local horse hero. She will definitely be remembered by everybody who had horses in our area. Through all the Pony Club and all the time she has put into growing our younger equestrians, everyone knew Barbara.”
Added Kim, a friend for two decades, “She had such a passion for helping people learn and being involved with the horses as much as she could be. Bridget did everything she could to keep her mom in the saddle.”
Not too long ago, Kim recalled, Bridget had her Grand Prix horse on the longe line with her mother aboard. Barbara was “having a blast” doing piaffe and passage. “She kept talking abut it for days afterward.”
Trainer/judge Marilyn Payne said of Barbara, “in the horse world she was such a big name, especially Pony Club, she did so much for Pony Club. She was just fabulous, volunteering all the time and worked tirelessly. She was a very knowledgeable horsewoman.”
Marilyn mentioned Barbara had “a fabulous personality. She was nice to everyone; everyone loved her.”
Scores of people posted on social media after learning Barbara had passed away, many offering tributes about all the woman known fondly as “Baba” had done for the equestrian community.
Ralph Reilly commented, “Barbara was one of the kindest, most giving people I have ever known. Her encouragement and patience with all the Pony Club kids was remarkable. She touched so many young lives, leaving them all for the better. She is a cherished memory for us.”
Lucia Stout Huebner stated, “What a marvelous, beautiful and giving woman Barbara Hay was. Best riding instructor ever. She had a perfect balance of authority and kindness.”
Even before she could walk, Bridget began riding under the direction of her mother and was part of the Amwell Valley Pony Club. Together, the two bred dressage horses that Bridget went on to compete at Grand Prix, starting an impressive pipeline of American-bred horses who could excel in the discipline.
Bridget Hay and her mother, Barbara, cleaning tack during Dressage at Devon in 2016. (Photo © 2016 by Nancy Jaffer)
Early in her career, Barbara worked for breeder Gordon Smith, starting all the babies of his Trakehner stallion, Parliament.
Their breeding project began with Ming, an Oldenburg mare by Weltstern, who Barbara got in trade by riding for Ilona English. Ming became the foundation of the Hays’ program, in which Barbara played a major role.
“Her thing was breaking young horses. She helped me start all the babies here,” said Bridget, noting her biggest challenge came when her mother wasn’t able to work with her anymore after her diagnosis in 2020.
Barbara Hay with Bridget on Faolan at the 2022 USEF Festival of Champions. (Susan J. Stickle Photography)
Barbara’s husband, James, died 11 years ago on Dec. 28. In addition to Bridget, Barbara is survived by her son, Ryan; four grandchildren, Ryder, Audrey, Amelia and Julianna, and her sister, Susan Gaukin.
Visitation is 5-8 p.m, Jan. 2 at the Holcombe-Fisher Funeral Home in Flemington.
A Mass of Christian Burial will be offered at 10:30 a.m. Jan. 3 at St. Alphonsus Church in Hopewell, with a reception to follow.
Donations in Barbara Hay’s memory may be made to the U.S. Pony Club (https://www.ponyclub.org)
A celebration of life will be planned at the farm in the spring, with a date to be determined.